Fish Story

This one time I was fishing, and I caught a mermaid. I was shocked, because not every day do you catch a mermaid. I mean, some people go all their lives without catching one, and here I was with my very own mermaid. Well, I dragged her up onto the shore. I figured, maybe her tail would turn into legs, but they didn't.

I thought to myself, "Mermaids are nice to look at and all, but you can't really take them out unless you pack a wheelchair." I tried talking to her, but all she did was gasp for air. I was like, "What's your problem, there's air!" Pretty soon her eyes were practically bugging out of her skull. It was totally unattractive. It's one thing to have an attractive trophy to take on the town, even if it can't walk; it's another to have some freaky fish thing with bulging eyes.

At this point, I figured I could make some big bucks off of a flesh and blood mermaid, even if she was dead. But, there was no way I was throwing her in my car. Get fish stink everywhere, no way! Besides, she wasn't going anywhere. So, I hopped in my car and drove like a madman until my cell phone picked up a signal. I then called every paper and TV station I could think of. I was going to get rich off this, right?

After the calls, I drove back to the place of the mermaid's body should've been. But, she wasn't there anymore. All that was left was a note that read, "It's over! I can't believe you left me here to go on a beer run! I went home with a stranger who actually catches fish." And, now I'm single because of a stupid mermaid.