I used to have this little robot friend. I don't know where he came from. Nor do I know his name. But, one day he was on my doorstep. He was short, maybe 2 feet tall, and he was covered with blinking-flashing lights like something from 70's Sci-Fi.
We talked for hours that first day. I found him really easy to talk to. I told him all about my life and he told me about his. He told me about the cold void of space and we both realized that wasn't much different from being heartbroken. But, we both realized how amazing the rest of it was. Hurtling to a new planet not knowing what was in store. Finding lush forests filled with ridiculous animals. And, sometimes... sometimes, finding an amazing friend.
He didn't stay long my little robot friend. But, I think he'll be back. One day, we'll talk again, and this time I plan to get his name.
May 9, 2010
April 10, 2010
Dreaming
For the past couple months I've been having this reoccurring dream. I wake up in bed and groggily crawl out. There's no beautiful brunette who sneaks into my room and gets in to bed with me, no stepping off the bed into a bottomless pit, nor a monster chasing me.
I get ready for work. Shower, shave, brush my teeth and nothing eventful happens. I keep expecting something to happen. There's a slight sense of dread. But, it's all very routine. And, if it wasn't for the fact that it happens every time I dream, I would not remember it.
Arriving at work there are mixed feelings of urgency and being overwhelmed. I often wonder if the building is going to collapse on us all or a zombie apocalypse will being. They don't. Instead I type away frantically for what feels like hours. Typing the same things over and over. Numbers, letters, it's like a boring version of Tetris dreams.
And, after a whole lot of nothing happens, I wake up angry. I shout, "What does it all mean!?" But, soon the distractions of the day take me away from the dream and it's forgotten again.
I would tell you more of what I can remember, but the Curmudgeon is seeking me out tonight. I will play a game with him. I will pretend that I cannot escape his chase. I will let him get ever closer. So close that there is no way I can escape and then poof! I will disappear like a fiendish ghost. I shall reappear in the sky and soar through the clouds. Today will be a good day.
I get ready for work. Shower, shave, brush my teeth and nothing eventful happens. I keep expecting something to happen. There's a slight sense of dread. But, it's all very routine. And, if it wasn't for the fact that it happens every time I dream, I would not remember it.
Arriving at work there are mixed feelings of urgency and being overwhelmed. I often wonder if the building is going to collapse on us all or a zombie apocalypse will being. They don't. Instead I type away frantically for what feels like hours. Typing the same things over and over. Numbers, letters, it's like a boring version of Tetris dreams.
And, after a whole lot of nothing happens, I wake up angry. I shout, "What does it all mean!?" But, soon the distractions of the day take me away from the dream and it's forgotten again.
I would tell you more of what I can remember, but the Curmudgeon is seeking me out tonight. I will play a game with him. I will pretend that I cannot escape his chase. I will let him get ever closer. So close that there is no way I can escape and then poof! I will disappear like a fiendish ghost. I shall reappear in the sky and soar through the clouds. Today will be a good day.
July 9, 2009
Bad Day
Hearts are stupid. They should learn to listen to brains. It doesn't even matter how much you try to reason with the stupid things. You thump your chest and say, "Listen mister! You stop hurting or I'll give you something to hurt about." But, you learn quickly that hearts don't respond to idle threats.
So, you live a life of distraction. You surround yourself with awesome friends to hang out with. The best thing is that you end up with many new awesome friends you didn't even know would be there for you. And, your heart celebrates this and it helps take away some of the pain.
You get to the point where you think, "Hey, maybe it's time to try my hand at the game of love again." You date some people. It's good. It's bad. You date someone you like. But, the whole time you're evaluating these new feelings. The last thing you want is hurt someone else, to rebound off them.
You're being a good person. You're letting yourself feel real feelings. You're letting go of the past. You're not latching on to the first person who comes along (for selfish reasons or otherwise). And, then you have a bad day. A bad, stupid day because it was a day that was important to the past you're trying to let go.
All you want is to stop feeling so miserable. You want to lash out at the person who caused the pain. You want to bury yourself in frivolous affections to forget how terrible you feel. But, you know it'd be unfair to act on these thoughts. So, you hold strong and wait.
So, you live a life of distraction. You surround yourself with awesome friends to hang out with. The best thing is that you end up with many new awesome friends you didn't even know would be there for you. And, your heart celebrates this and it helps take away some of the pain.
You get to the point where you think, "Hey, maybe it's time to try my hand at the game of love again." You date some people. It's good. It's bad. You date someone you like. But, the whole time you're evaluating these new feelings. The last thing you want is hurt someone else, to rebound off them.
You're being a good person. You're letting yourself feel real feelings. You're letting go of the past. You're not latching on to the first person who comes along (for selfish reasons or otherwise). And, then you have a bad day. A bad, stupid day because it was a day that was important to the past you're trying to let go.
All you want is to stop feeling so miserable. You want to lash out at the person who caused the pain. You want to bury yourself in frivolous affections to forget how terrible you feel. But, you know it'd be unfair to act on these thoughts. So, you hold strong and wait.
July 7, 2009
Something Fun
I added another old tale of mine. It was something I typed up out of nowhere during a chat session many years ago. I was, obviously, quite bored and started typing a story into the chat. It was probably written in about a minute and I decided to capture it and save it to my computer. And, here it is back on the internet in full digital glory.
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