April 29, 2009

Whoa! Creepy Photo

What happened to the bottom of my photo? It's like a horror movie invited itself in. Talk about a weird digital camera glitch. If it turns out to be demons that swallow your soul when you view this picture on the internet, I'm really sorry.

Oh, and I swear I did absolutely no photo editing on that thing. I didn't even notice the photo was funky until it was uploaded to blogspot. I think it's the result of capturing the pure evil of Bank of America on camera.

Oh, and click on it for a higher resolution version.

Bank of America Sucks

Apparently Bank of America has started redirecting the Countrywide traffic to their website. Being a Countrywide customer (now Bank of America customer) I have to say that Bank of America's online service is absolutely awful. Not get your monthly statement in the mail? Want to view a copy of the paper statement online? Tough shit. All Bank of America is going to show you is that a monthly statement was sent on a specific date.

Since you can see how much you owe, all that's really important is being able to set up bill pay, right? You have your account number, but where is that all important address information? Prepare to do some hunting through their site which is filled with pages that give ASP errors. Speaking of which, the link to print a payment coupon is one of these broken links. That's right, even if all you want to do is mail your payment, you can't get to the payment coupon so they can easily associate your payment to your account. Bang up job guys.

Bank of America really should've looked at how easy and user-friendly Countrywide's site was. And, until they got their site to that level, let the Countrywide customers use the Countrywide site. But, no, we get to use a barely working site and are forced to navigate through the dark like paraplegic moles.

Seriously, what jackasses are writing the code and where can I send the hate mail? Even more importantly, who is the idiot that designed this unfriendly abomination? Worst banking site ever!

April 25, 2009

Rhythm Heaven

I just purchased this 4 hours ago (so mostly first impressions), but this game is really fun. The simple mechanics of tap, hold, and flick to the music make for a great time. The remix levels are fantastic and the game has a good level of difficulty.

My favorite game so far is the choir guys. I like how the other two glower at you when you're out of rhythm.

In this economy, you can't afford not to have this game.

Goodbye GeoCities

Not sure if you know, but Yahoo! is cutting a few of their features. Among them is geocities, so while I realize geocities may be around a bit longer, I figured I'd make sure there was nothing I wanted to keep there. Plus, I wanted to give a nod to the original home of my rantings.

At first I had the idea of moving my old posts over to blogspot, but most are info about what I was doing to the site or info about Baldur's Gate 2. In other words, I don't see any reason to move anything over. Instead I'm just going to keep a screenshot.

So, goodbye geocities. You worked good as a free home for 2000 to 2002.

April 13, 2009

Fish Story

This one time I was fishing, and I caught a mermaid. I was shocked, because not every day do you catch a mermaid. I mean, some people go all their lives without catching one, and here I was with my very own mermaid. Well, I dragged her up onto the shore. I figured, maybe her tail would turn into legs, but they didn't.

I thought to myself, "Mermaids are nice to look at and all, but you can't really take them out unless you pack a wheelchair." I tried talking to her, but all she did was gasp for air. I was like, "What's your problem, there's air!" Pretty soon her eyes were practically bugging out of her skull. It was totally unattractive. It's one thing to have an attractive trophy to take on the town, even if it can't walk; it's another to have some freaky fish thing with bulging eyes.

At this point, I figured I could make some big bucks off of a flesh and blood mermaid, even if she was dead. But, there was no way I was throwing her in my car. Get fish stink everywhere, no way! Besides, she wasn't going anywhere. So, I hopped in my car and drove like a madman until my cell phone picked up a signal. I then called every paper and TV station I could think of. I was going to get rich off this, right?

After the calls, I drove back to the place of the mermaid's body should've been. But, she wasn't there anymore. All that was left was a note that read, "It's over! I can't believe you left me here to go on a beer run! I went home with a stranger who actually catches fish." And, now I'm single because of a stupid mermaid.

April 10, 2009

The Rabbit's Just a Chicken in Disguise

Not sure why, but I've been having a Marilyn Manson night. Mostly the stuff from the Nothing label - Portrait of an American Family, Smells Like Children, and Antichrist Superstar - though there are a few songs released on later albums that I've been listening to.

It's kind of funny to think back to 1995-1998 where I couldn't get enough of MM. I think I bought 6 or 7 different bootlegs of live sets and I have at least one CD from the Spooky Kids days. I even have the original version of Smells Like Children with the Willy Wonka samples and Abuse tracks. I'm pretty sure it's a bootleg, but nonetheless I thought it was cool at the time.

April 6, 2009

Another Prior Work

Added "The Sole Witness" to my blog. I wrote this back in like 1999 or 2000. It contains graphic violence and strong language. Enjoy.

The Sole Witness

“I can recall the murder perfectly, officer. The murderer, he was,” I exhale as visions of the murder dance in front of my eyes, “relentless. I still can’t believe it happened. The look in his eyes was, well, frightening.” A shiver runs down my spine at the memory.

Murder is not as clean as what the movies make it out to be. A person doesn’t die instantly or remain quite after being stabbed. They shriek, plead, and when death is near you hear this awful gurgle. Their hands flail about in an attempt to remove their attacker and block any incoming blows. It’s a horrible thing to witness, and something one does not forget.

“I had just finished work, and was walking back to my car…” The night was brisk, and the smell of winter, of ozone, was in the air. There was a hint of something sickly sweet, like anti-freeze when a car over-heats and it bubbles out of the radiator. Cloud clover blanketed the sky, blocking out the moon. It wasn’t dark; lights from the city illuminated the sky, casting a sickly orange hue on the world.

“Upon reaching my car, I heard a solid thud then a pleading voice which climbed quickly into a scream. I thought it was a joke or a false scare as I glanced around the car lot for the source. I saw a dark figure, a man. He was tall, with a large build, with unkempt blonde hair. I would guess he was around six-five or six-six, about 275 pounds, maybe.

“At first glance, I thought he was alone. He had a dark, slimy object in his hand. From where I was standing it looked like a greasy pipe. It wasn’t until he dropped to his knees and jammed the object into the pleading and blibbering mass that I realized he was not alone.

“’Help me. Oh God, fuck! Oh God save me. Someone. Jesus,’ the victim pleaded as his hands flailed and scrabbled trying to block the blade from driving into his body. My breathing was rushed. ‘Was this really happening?” The exhilaration. The release! I would have to kill again for the pure joy of the act.

“Warm, thick blood spurted on my face and hands. It made the knife difficult to grip. I tasted the coppery film on my lips. It was an ecstasy of power to take everything from this pitiful wretch, this wretch whose sole task seemed bent on angering me.

“I let out a maniacal bellow of laughter as I repeatedly drove the blade into his torso. Blood covered my eyes making it difficult to spot my victim, my prey. I paused in my revelry. I needed a better look. Shutting my eyes, I dragged the sleeve of my jacket across my face.

“I tell myself that this has to be a dream as I open my eyes in horror of my attacker straddled over my body. ‘No more,’ I whimper in short gasps of breath. ‘No more,’ I cough as blood and spittle launch into my assailant’s face. My lungs burn and ache. I struggle for breath, but I know no amount of coughing will remove the blood that fills them. My arms lay limp at my side.

“I look up at my attacker hoping to see something human, some sign of mercy. All I see are his cold eyes. Grey eyes like two chunks of steel. Beautiful eyes, on a bloodied face, staring at me through a broken driver’s side mirror.”

April 5, 2009

Tuesday's Gone

Simply changing to a song that fits better considering recent events.

BIT.TRIP BEAT

If enjoy rhythm games (and electronic music), then buy this game. If you enjoy the old Atari 2600 Pong/Breakout games, then buy this game. If you have a love of retro games, then buy this game.

What are you doing still reading this? You should be playing BIT.TRIP BEAT!

I'm going to assume the reason you're still reading this is because you want to know why you should buy the game. To start off, the basic premise of the game is pretty simple. Bits fly from the right-side of the screen to the left-side, and your job is to knock them back with your paddle. Knocking back bits will play a note of the song. The game is presented in 8-bit glory both graphically and musically.

You begin the game in hyper-mode, and by returning bits, which fill the mega-meter, you will enter mega-mode. When in mega-mode another layer of the song is unlocked and there are additional graphical effects. In addition, you have a new meter to fill which can increase your bonus. By missing beats you will drop from mega-mode to hyper-mode and from hyper-mode to nether-mode. When in nether-mode there is no music, the Wiimote's speaker emits the only sound when bits are returned, the screen is black and white, and missing too many bits results in game over. Hitting enough bits back in nether-mode will return you to hyper-mode. So, during a game you could transition through each mode multiple times depending on how well you are playing during certain parts of the song.

I'll be honest, as much as the concept of this game had me interested, I was concerned about the paddle being tied to motion controls. But, Gaijin nailed the controls and when playing the game it feels very much like playing with a paddle (Atari paddle, not ping-pong). The tilting works great and allows for very precise control.

The chip tune music is great and fits the game very well. My only complaint is there are only three songs. The songs are fairly long, in fact I still haven't been able to get passed the second, but I feel six shorter songs would've worked better. Due to the difficulty, I haven't been able to play more than one boss battle; but these are extremely fun. And I think the difficulty combined with the awesomeness of the boss battles, is why I would've liked to see more songs.

In addition, the game features four-player multiplayer, but I haven't had a chance to try it. I have read how some people have decreased the difficulty of the game by playing it two Wiimotes (essentially having one giant paddle made from two).

My only complaint is that sometimes the bits and paddle are hard to make out due to the background effects. But, it's something that doesn't happen too often and by your second or third play-through of a level it's easier to track everything.